Sounds like a fight between me and the Teen right!?

Nope…this one is in total awkward disclosure.

Ever meet someone that you feel that vibe with them right away? They get you and yet you just met. So you spill out something personal, showing some vulnerability because you trust they won’t judge you for it.

I’ve been that guy strangers confide in. I’ve been the sounding board and the unofficial therapist. I share the little nuggets of thought that float around in my brain pan and seem to make sense to others facing a hurdle.

Like McDonalds, you can ask me a question and get your choice of brain nuggets – 20 piece, 10 piece, 6 piece, or eve the Happy Meal 4 piece.

You want to lose weight, find a new job, have a difficult conversation with someone, learn a new skill, try a new hobby…I’ve got solutions for you to try. You want to find where your passion is, be more organized, quit smoking, be more outgoing…Let me help you get out of your way. I’ll share stories from the books I study, stories of other people with the same  challenges, or a lot of my own stories.

Then someone goes and makes the comment, “But you seem to have it all together!”

OH HELL NO.

I’m more like one of those marriage counselors who is really good at their job, but on their 4th marriage. The only way I know anything about anything is cause I LIVE THERE DAILY. Your struggles are the same struggles that almost everyone goes through. Those brain nuggets were deep fried in hot oil that hasn’t been cleaned in awhile.

  • Want to lose weight and be more physically active? So do I…
  • You quit smoking and keep relapsing? Yup, yup, yup, yup…
  • Start getting up earlier (because all the successful people do it)? But the damn bed is too comfortable…
  • Schedule and organize life as you keep dropping the balls and not accomplishing your goals? I hate it when I drop my balls…
  • New Years and you think, “This’ll be the year I do ALL THE THINGS!”

I started college at age 37, in January of 2016. I’ve gotten to know myself by now and felt confident I would have no issues. I completed 26 credits in the first 6-month semester. I AM GREAT AT LAUNCHING! Then a distraction and second semester was only 10 credits…but I failed to complete a course.

You see I hit a wall. A couple of my courses were a little harder for me, but only because I wasn’t trying as hard. If I don’t find importance in an activity, it is assigned to the wastelands of my life. So here I was on vacation with the family over Christmas, with two classes to complete by 1:00am on December 31st. College Algebra (I struggle with word problems) and Composition 2. I ended up passing Algebra and then it’s the morning of December 31st.

I have had no idea why this course and the paper I need to write are causing so much obstruction in my head. I could just crank it out all day, like I do with most of my tasks – WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE. But I would now give up my last day of 2016 with my family and I wanted to spend time with them.

I decided I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do the thing that had gotten me through most of my life and at one point had been a badge of pride – procrastination. I wouldn’t do it because it would cost my family. Come hell or high water, I will feel this pain to remind myself what I need to do.

Then in January, still struggling. Between my college Mentor (who is a freaking angel sent from heaven) and the course mentor team, I received some new nuggets that I needed.

“You are too intentional. You just need to do something, just start.”

It wasn’t my best work, actually I would say it was one of the worst pieces I could write. But it passed and the gorilla is off my back.

  • I smoke sometimes, but I don’t want to.
  • I love using my muscles, but I hurt most days because I don’t work out.
  • When I get up early, I get schtuff done!
  • But I don’t get up early every day.
  • I hate budgeting, but it feels good when I do.
  • I yell, when I mean to be softer.

I have every excuse in the book as to why I don’t do the things I find important. I coach people how to overcome their own excuses and alibis.  Maybe I feel like I got this life thing all figured out; Some days that might be true.

But most of the time, like most of you – I’m trying every day to be the best version of myself. Even when I’m a hypocrite.

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