Dear Addiction,
I used to think we were doing okay through the years. When the world was hard and I wanted to be someone else, I created an image of myself. I thought I would look like those people in the magazines. Overtime, I found that I felt better when I was around you. I could take a step back and think about things and it felt clearer. But like any relationship based on people not being themselves, you changed me. And now it’s time we went our separate ways.
It’s hard to leave you though – You’ve been with me at the best times of my life. Girlfriends, parties, graduation, wedding day, kids being born, that list is long. And you’ve helped carry me through the hardest times: Breakups, hunting accidents, every time my Mom went in the hospital, watching my Grandma die and then my Mom, family divorces… the list might be longer.
We’ve had some great times together but there are things I need that you can’t give me. I had kids young so I expect to be there to see them become parents. I still have a world to discover, to see the love of each culture, to climb that rock when the sun rises, to find smiles in every corner. I have to be here when Little Miss wants to walk down that aisle…
But you’re killing me. I can feel my energy being screwed with every day, every time you touch my lips. I’ve been strong through so many things in my past and yet I can’t push you away. Sure we’ve broken up before in the past, but I always fall for you again and I come back.
So I’ve asked for help. And it appears that I have an army. This battle is no longer with you. You are done. You are gone. This is my life and I’m taking it back. This army is too strong for you. I’m not out to win this battle. This war is already over.
I can’t cheat on my family any more. I won’t risk their future. I won’t risk mine.
If you think you can fight this, you’re sorely mistaken. We have ferocity. We have anger. We have patience. We have strength. We have love.
This Army will stomp you out. Good bye cigarettes.
Oh… and F**K OFF!
Talking to Myself 