Why do we argue with compliments? Shy away from awards or recognition? Is the baseball bat the only way we have to process our ability to be successful? Worse is that we use it when we don’t achieve like we thought we would, also known as failure…or I like “learning”.
If you’re reading this, I would venture to presume you know me or have read some of my other posts. Usually this blog of mine is about me articulating my feelings and thoughts into words and I intended to worry only about what I wanted to say, without as much concern for someone else reading it. My hope is for an honest conversation about those things in our lives that we allow to get in our ways and if one of my stories can help someone process a little better then maybe I’ve accomplished something.
Here I am sitting in a coffee shop in Boston figuring out how I feel about this trip. First, let me say this – WHY DO COFFEE SHOPS ONLY OPEN AFTER 7AM!?! I walked around for an hour, trusting my Google to show me the way to a coffee shop open earlier…NOPE.
I’m better now…where was I? Sipping my mocha in a neat little coffee shop in Boston, down on Newbury St. The whole street is brownstone buildings that have been converted to shops and places for foodies. It’s pretty neat.
As to why I’m here in Boston? I completed my Life Office Management Association (LOMA) designation for Fellow, Life Management Institute (FLMI) last winter and this is the annual Conferment Conference. (I want you to read that last sentence out loud really fast to someone near you and see if they look really confused)
I did this. No one took my tests for me. And I work for an absolutely amazing company that pays for me and the Wife Unit to go, something I cannot financially afford.
I am uncomfortable with recognition. Like many others, I have responded with the usual humility of hanging my head and mumbling my thanks or like a lot of us, argued with the attention. It’s something I’ve tried to teach others about this and yet I struggle. “Wow, you look great today?” to which the usual response is something along the lines of, “Yeah I showered” or “It’s laundry day so I had to dress up.”
Why can’t we simply say “Thank You.” Who am I to argue with someone else’s perception and decision to compliment my style, or my efforts, or my work?
The other side of the coin – when we add conspiracy to a compliment. What does that person want from me? What are they trying to do? Now you’re making up stories, which is about 99% of our problems with truly connecting to other people. We tell ourselves stories about someone we don’t even know and then we hold back in our conversation or avoid them all together.
So I’m in Boston, where LOMA has designed a few days in a beautiful, historical place…to honor and recognize those people who have achieved something pretty cool. And my company has footed the bill to say, “This is pretty damn important.” And the Wife Unit is with me, to say how much she supported my late nights as I studied and knocked out two tests in less than two months, during a busy time at work and home… Thank You to all who have inspired me. Thank you to all who have complimented me. Thank you to my company, LOMA, Boston, Coffee shops for being open.
I’m putting away the baseball bat.