Most of us have seen or heard about the list from a Home Economics textbook in the 50’s about #TheGoodWifesGuide. Yep, here’s the part where you roll your eyes and smack your forehead.
HOW COULD PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THAT!?! I don’t have time to worry about HIM, I HAVE A HOME TO RUN!?
I want to back up on this story for a second. Snopes.com addresses this article in How to Be a Good Wife with, “We know the graphic reproduced above (supposedly from the 13 May 1955 edition of a magazine called Housekeeping Monthly) is a fabrication.”
So first – Guys get off your high horses and Women, it’s okay to put your bras back on. It wasn’t accurate in the first place, though I have a feeling it might have been accepted by some if it had been true.
Secondly, let’s get the #genderization out of the way. We know that roles and expectations have changed in 50 years, maybe not everywhere, but we know our world is different. I have a huge soapbox I like to climb to the top of when it comes to what a man/woman, husband/wife, boy/girl is capable and allowed to do. Don’t even get me started there.
But if we can remove gender out of the way for a moment, maybe we can see some advice on people treating eachother that could help. Maybe it’ll get you laid, maybe it’ll help your kids, maybe it’s all for naught.
Now you’re asking yourself, what does “remove the gender” really mean?
For example, the first guideline (by the way, I switched he/she for helping remove our gender-filters)
“Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for her return. This is a way of letting her know that you’ve been thinking about her and are concerned about her needs. Most women are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially her favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.”
I love this! We seem to get so worked up about ourselves, our day, our stresses, we seem to forget to actually show the other person that we think about them! What is a better way than meeting one of our many needs according to #Maslow? Now do we all have time to do this day in and day out? Most of us are probably a no.
But what if you tried? In my own life, I’ve been trying to get better at menu planning for the week. Including having each of the kids pick out a recipe that they’re responsbile for learning and cooking. I know if I plan right, I’m less stressed which helps with the Wife Unit being less stressed.
Then there are quite a few points about the relationship when the partner comes home, such as; “Be happy to see him” “Greet her with a warm smile” “Listen to her” “Don’t greet her with complaints & problems”.
Here we go – When you come home after a busy day, do you want to walk into a place where even the dog barely gives you a nod? Why do we ever want to come home!? Oh yeah, because there are some wonderful people that aren’t telling us what to do or how to make our products more effective, bosses saying “do more with less”, and customers who don’t understand their product cannot be used in a toaster!
Husband, wife, partner, kid, dog – when someone comes in, be happy to see them! Smile, welcome them with a kiss or a hug. And don’t start in with what is wrong in the world. They probably just had 8-10 hours of that crap. Give them time to breath.
Even the rule about Prepare Yourself can apply here. Want her to be happy to come home, then look like you showered and tried to face the day with little more than throwing in a pony-tail or wearing your favorite sweat-pants.
I think if you look at each of those points on this list, and you can get the gender out of the way, then you might find that making an effort in any of these areas would be greatly appreciated. But it can’t just be you.
Imagine for a second that if each partner in the relationship practiced these “rules”, what kind of relationship could they have?
Maybe I’m crazy – but I want to hear from you this time: Which rule do you think if you and your partner practiced daily for eachother, could make a difference in eachother’s lives? Knowing that not all of them are easy to de-genderize, you’re going to have to be creative!