My original plan with this blog was to provide an outlet for my words so they could process…
So the last six months has been a little dark in my writing and recently I’ve noticed something – that I have been working on my “feelers” for too long (thanks to my brother-in-law for that new word coin).
What do I mean? I have spent 20 years with my life revolving around a lot of excuses. Why I didn’t go to college sooner. Why I’ve kept the Wife Unit at just an arms’ length away emotionally. Why I struggle with my temper and I’m mad at myself most of the time.
So here I am, this far into my life and the biggest excuse on why I don’t achieve is no longer on this rock with me. The energies I invested in taking care of Mom were more than I gave them credit for. Now I find myself with a focus on me. And that now means, it’s time to write. It’s time to get back to helping others.
Process. Practice. Purpose.
The Teen recently had a moment of panic when his world was crushing down on him. He was working a lot of hours and his school work was falling behind. Why is this important to him? He is taking AP classes so he doesn’t have to waste time and money in college. He has commented how he doesn’t want to have loans like his parents have had.
Now, let’s clear up something – he’s not required to work. We don’t make him pay for his insurance or cell phone. He has been saving up for all of his trips he has this summer, which include Europe, Florida for Orchestra, and a Leadership week sometime. I’m proud of his efforts and work ethics. He doesn’t have a ton of other activities so we’re good with him working…and we’ve allowed him some rope to see how far out he goes. I’d rather have him learn this pain point now, when he has somewhat of a safety net, then later in life where it can be more catastrophic.
I’m hoping to give him some tools so when he makes the statement that he feels overwhelmed he has something in his bag to get back on track.
Process is something I believe a lot of us lack – What are you doing today that will set you up for achieving your purpose tomorrow?
I WANT TO LOSE 20 LBS – How’s that going for me? It would help if I get my butt to the gym. When I’m at the gym, what are the activities I’m doing to lead me to that future?
I WANT TO BE BETTER AT BUDGETING – What does that even mean?
I WANT TO SHOW KINDNESS AND UNDERSTANDING TO MY CHILDREN – I want to be the example for them to look up to. I want to show them unconditional love, that humility and admitting you messed up is okay, and to be proud of the person you are.
What do I do every day that helps me get there?
…practice, practice – So I want to lose 20 lbs. And it’s going to be hard to go to the gym, but I need to start. Just get up today and go. Then try again tomorrow. And the day after that.
I want to be a better father – then I need to practice being the person they need me to be. This is the application part of the process. I know I need to do these things for myself. I want to make them a priority in my life. Every day, I will try to do the things that lead me to that future I envision.
Why? While this is actually the first in the series of “P” words, I’ve left it for the end. If I want to lose weight, what is the purpose? Why do I want to? Health is the biggest concern. Not to mention I have that middle-aged, “I scratched my butt right off” look with nothing filling out the backside of my jeans and the beginning of a belly.
What’s my PURPOSE of budgeting? I want to make memories, not just at home, but vacations and travel. If I’m going to do that, I need to set aside the money. I need a plan.
If you’ve been struggling with a goal in your life, it’s not going to happen overnight. I can’t just say, “I want to lose 20lbs” and tadaa…Gone! You probably already have something like that in your mind, a goal of sorts.
Here’s your next step – WHY? What is your PURPOSE?
Then decide what is the PROCESS? What little steps will get me there?
Then you have to take action, and PRACTICE. Every day, use those little steps and apply them.
By doing these steps, you will feel PROUD of the PERSON you are becoming by having a PLAN and making it a PRIORITY, only through PURPOSE, PROCESS, PRACTICE